October 02, 2009

(INSERT NUMBER HERE) OLYMPIC COMMITTEE MEMBERS WILL VOTE TO SELECT 2016 HOST CITY

According to the San Diego Union-Tribune, 108 International Olympic Committee members will vote to decide whether Tokyo, Madrid, Rio de Janeiro, or Chicago will host the 2016 Summer Olympics. Illinois native/US President Barack Obama flew to Copenhagen to make the case for his city in front of the 107 deciding IOC members, writes the Chicago Sun-Times. Whether his pitch was enough for Chicago to garner a majority of the 106 (Kansas City Star) votes needed, "It's a 105 or 106," says Olympic Game voting expert Bill Martin (Detroit Free Press), remains to be seen.

Can you see where this is going?

The voting process is broken down in an October 1st TIME article, which indicates that the result of the 105 IOC member vote will be announced later today around 12:30 ET. The New York Times mentions the same, except suggests the actual number of members voting would be 104. The Associated Press reports that, "Rio de Janeiro and Chicago made impassioned appeals," to the 103 IOC members.

GamesBids.com-- An Authoritative Review of Olympic Bid Bid Business-- says the 102 voting members could still opt for Madrid, but that Rio and Chicago are the two most likely to be selected. CBS concurs but places the number of votes at 101.

And to think the media industry has fallen on hard times. Perplexing. Perhaps it is the inability of any outlet to get even the simplest detail correct...

But who's counting.

June 04, 2009

TEN MOVIES IN TEN WORDS (OR LESS)

The Departed: Boston. Irish mob and police do battle. Everyone dies.

Eastern Promises: Russian mobsters are a hazardous bunch.

Apollo 13: Space shuttle takes off, lands.


The Devil Wore Prada: Bitch boss torments staff; yet they still find happiness.


Braveheart: Hippy looking war hero frees Scotland. Dies.


Field of Dreams: Baseball playing ghosts help dad and son find peace.


Happy Gilmore:
Bad hockey player learns to golf, loves his grandma.

Blackhawk Down: Helicopters crash. Somalia proves to be dangerous.


The Godfather: Family feud brings dimension to Italian mob operation.


There Will be Blood: Oil baron cares about money.

March 08, 2009

FOR THOSE NEEDING A REASON TO HATE REALITY TV: 'THE BACHELOR' DELIVERS

The full range of humanity-- located between bizarre and imbecilic-- was on display during the finale.

Whatever redeeming merits one might have found the series to have had, at any point, were painstakingly overshadowed and undone in the course of three hours.

Hopefully you were lucky enough to have caught your local news or a rerun of From G's to Gents instead. You know, something with a little more intelligence and depth...

February 15, 2009

WHY BUD SELIG SUCKS MORE THAN ANYONE ORIGINALLY THOUGHT

Major League Baseball Commissioners: the school superintendents of professional baseball.

Meddlers.

Geniuses.

Assholes.

Dorks.

Up high, on their lofty perches, they rule the kingdoms beneath them; showing little regard for athletes, fans, or just about anyone for that matter.

Until now, I think the average fan always assumed the Commissioner was a pawn of the team owners. Occasionally he'd ban a future Hall of Famer from the game for life or decide to end the All-Star Game in a tie... and then in subsequent years have it decide home field advantage for the biggest series of the season... but mostly, they were cute little puppets, predictable, affable dweebs.

That all changed when the world discovered that everyone's favorite used car salesman (and current MLB Commissioner), Bud Selig, makes more than $17 million per year-- which, incidentally, is more than the annual compensation of McDonald's and Nike's CEOs COMBINED.

At a time when the economy slowly crumbles all around us, and tickets behind home plate for a Washington Nationals' game cost $325 a piece, it might then seem, uh, excessive, that a man little better than the personification of suck, the same guy who claimed he didn't "know how anyone could have done more than (he's) already done," when discussing the steroids scandal that was allowed to unraveled so horrendously during his tenure, that it managed to ongoing-ly tarnish his sport, on an annual basis, for the better part of a decade would make a salary even Heidi Montage might question.

January 24, 2009

CAESAR SALADS AND RCA RECORDS

It now seems long ago, but there was a time when I was only four feet tall. It was at this point in my life, when my family would go to fancy restaurants (and by fancy I mean the sort that had stainless steel utensils and cloth linens), that I loved ordering Caesar salads.

I became a connoisseur-- if an eleven year old can become such-- of the leafy starter. The peak of my exploration and enjoyment came several years later during a trip to Maui, where one was prepared tableside. I believe it cost approximately $7,000. Eventually (say around 18), I began to detest croutons, Romaine lettuce and the moderately tangy dressing that accompanied them before dinner.

What exactly was the cause of this change? Was it eater-fatigue? A maturing palate? At the time I wasn't really thinking about it. Although, mostly at that age, I wasn't really interested in anything, except a certain girl, sleeping, and getting into college, which, in my defense, is not, I suspect, unusual of most high school teenagers in the United States. Alas, abandoning the flavorful familiarity has begun to bother me, and if this revelation is troublesome to you then you may want to consider closing this browser and avoiding this URL in the future.


My conclusion is thus: the Caesar salad is an overexposed and often misunderstood (therefore mis-delivered) dish. It's more than that of course. The salad is so ubiquitous that no self respecting second rate Italian restaurant located on a busy highway in the suburbs of Anywhere, USA/Applebee's would dare omit the Caesar from its menu. So bastardized is salad that any combination of lettuce, dried bread cubes, and a garlic-esque dressing can be passed off on, and generally accepted by, an unwitting and hungry public as a 'Caesar' ... despite most resembling the original little, if at all. The actual recipe, should you care.

What I am trying to say is: Christina Aguilera is a classic Caesar.