CAESAR SALADS AND RCA RECORDS

It now seems long ago, but there was a time when I was only four feet tall. It was at this point in my life, when my family would go to fancy restaurants (and by fancy I mean the sort that had stainless steel utensils and cloth linens), that I loved ordering Caesar salads.

I became a connoisseur-- if an eleven year old can become such-- of the leafy starter. The peak of my exploration and enjoyment came several years later during a trip to Maui, where one was prepared tableside. I believe it cost approximately $7,000. Eventually (say around 18), I began to detest croutons, Romaine lettuce and the moderately tangy dressing that accompanied them before dinner.

What exactly was the cause of this change? Was it eater-fatigue? A maturing palate? At the time I wasn't really thinking about it. Although, mostly at that age, I wasn't really interested in anything, except a certain girl, sleeping, and getting into college, which, in my defense, is not, I suspect, unusual of most high school teenagers in the United States. Alas, abandoning the flavorful familiarity has begun to bother me, and if this revelation is troublesome to you then you may want to consider closing this browser and avoiding this URL in the future.

My conclusion is thus: the Caesar salad is an overexposed and often misunderstood (therefore mis-delivered) dish. It's more than that of course. The salad is so ubiquitous that no self respecting second rate Italian restaurant located on a busy highway in the suburbs of Anywhere, USA/Applebee's would dare omit the Caesar from its menu. So bastardized is salad that any combination of lettuce, dried bread cubes, and a garlic-esque dressing can be passed off on, and generally accepted by, an unwitting and hungry public as a 'Caesar' ... despite most resembling the original little, if at all. The actual recipe, should you care.

What I am trying to say is: Christina Aguilera is a classic Caesar.